(1) I am a mother… yes… It’s not meant to read “I’m….”…. you see I once read Descartes hang on! That’s not Des carts … we don’t know any Des blokes… this guy I read about is ayCarts’… okay mum! I get it. You read about some bloke.
So what’s your point? I’m getting there!…. )
He said – ‘I think, therefore I am’. Well I Am a mother…I Am daughter. .. a grand daughter. … and I have a mother and grandchildren. I AM. ‘
‘Oh… so what are you really on about, Mum?’
(2) Being a mother is the greatest gift to self, to my partner, to my parents, and ultimately to the wider community.
‘Oh, so you went straight from DayCarts…haha gotcha that time!…. to being Supermum’.
‘Strange connection, dear. But while you insist… YES! YES! YES!’
‘Geez Mum. You get super excited over trivia!’
(3) AHHH! ##@@&&**… Actually I don’t!
‘I WAS Superwoman. .. along with so many others who were being mother and father to her kids. No one can be both and not fly from regular daytime work to shopping and housekeeping and running you two around and…. oh… never mind… that’s all history – like Superwoman. She doesn’t have to exist any more. She simply needs to wear one cloak at a time and enjoy what she is doing….’
‘Goodo…. So DO IT!’
(4) Self talk – yes, I talk to myself, No, I do not talk to the walls aka Shirley’s style. I at least answer myself back. I argue, I cajole, I get bitter with, angry with, cry with, throw tanties with…the WHOLE GAMUT of emotions and the BEST and WORST range of words I can POSSIBLY IMAGINE at any one point in time can flow through my head. They are SO LOUD I sometimes think I have said them, and when it’s a GOOD IDEA I wish someone had heard what I (haven’t) said. It’s a by product of being an INTROVERT – NO, No. no – an introvert is not someone who is shy or backward. This one lives by the farm-induced social isolation of 15 years’ upbringing with no-one to really talk to let alone with.
(5) That CHANGEd. I left home for upper high school and learnt about the total bitchy world of other women-to-be. I had already experienced a good dose in the course of simply being me, but I would not compromise my standards and take the fall for everyone else – they must’ve thought I was fair game. I got to be prefect (of the dormitory) and so had little break from being Head Girl of my previous school. Responsibility was following me. I was also the eldest of three children and hence felt an unspoken, parental induced obligation about being an example to others. I was. I am. I continue to be ‘looked up to’ as ‘big sister’. I suppose it’s marginally better than Orwell’s version of Big Brother – and decidedly preferable to any tv show bearing a similar title.
(6) I don’t watch much television. I watch good movies. I like ethical historical mini dramas. I love their costumes. I’d happily have sewn for them. (Even though that is not on the books, nor in the plans). I watch just enough to be marginally conversant on a limited range of topics. Like my two girls were on Home and Away. ‘We have to watch something Mum. EVERYONE watches Neighbours (or H&A).’ So we watch it and A Country Practice and always – well nearly always – talked about ‘issues’. My children were not going to be sponges of the uninvited guest’s moral values. His presence and indoctrination efforts would be on my terms. I still care about my kids and what they are into. And my grandkids too.
(7) COMMUNITY is a scary thing. It is big and envelopes you. I need to be part of it wisely. What on earth is wisdom I repeatedly asked myself when younger. Now, to me it is ‘the art of knowing how’ – how to love; how to be me; how to share; how to care – how to …. Anything. In my business I care about others’ well-being – through their personal preferences in what they put onto and into their bodies and enjoy being surrounded by in their homes.
Community has let me down. That is why I am doing ‘my own thing’. Well, several things. The communities I engage with are those I now choose carefully, with the benefit of hindsight.
(8) I like to encourage, listen, empathise, help, assist, DO for others. I find that in GIVING of my TIME it is recompensed in unexpected increments. WHAT I GIVE I GET BACK – sometimes ten fold. My giving to someone is of unknown value in the BIG PICTURE. It might be my time, or my skills or both.
(9) Grandchildren are the best blessing on the planet. Nothing else compares.
(10) SHARING my skills from my teaching background is a pleasure. Expanding my skill sets is a joy. I love learning – lifelong learning is a key. Reaching out to others is a delight, sometimes a frustration, always something from which I learn and hopefully become a better person for that encounter. Overcoming the hurdle of lack of trust when I was let down badly really began and ended with me.
BONUS! (11) Being PASSIONATE again is tough. I had always planned on being a teacher – for my Nanna who gave her dream away when her family migrated to Australia- well, New Zealand really, but they never got that far. That’s another story.
PASSION for the undeniable innocence of a newborn growing daily.
- For my own life and what I can offer others
- To transfer my expansive range of teaching skills to other fields
So, lastly – what you don’t know about me is –
I CAN – I AM – I DO